I don’t wanna be without you, girl - July 19, 2009

Dude, fohawks aside, I seriously want this haircut. 

ME WANT.

THIS HAIRCUT
plus
MULTIPLE EARRINGS
plus
NEW CLOTHES
plus
SMOKEY EYE MAKE UP
plus
FREEDOM TO DO WHAT I WANT

would be hella nice.

My parents don’t understand
that if a guy won’t like me unless
I have long hair & a conservative style
he’s not the type of guy I would want anyway.

Because God knows that my future husband
is going to be different – eccentric, unique.
I’m not even sure that he exists.

AND HEY, YOU PEOPLE NEED TO STOP JUDGING.
Judge me for the choices I make
if you feel so
righteous
&
godly.
NOT MY PARENTS.
(they take enough sh!t from you)

Baby, this is timeless - July 18, 2009

Last night, I couldn’t sleep because I got this GREAT idea for how to style my hair into a faux hawk (fohawk is easier to spell but faux looks more … professional). 

Okay, so first, I’ll have to go back to school.  I may dye my hair with the dye I bought before coming home, maybe not, but I will cut it.  Short.  Not too short, but most of the layers on top will be too short to tie back.  And the longest strands will be up to my shoulders, maybe a little past it.  I’ve always liked shaggy, messy, rough layers.

I found this article online for a “twisted fohawk” which you can do with long hair.  And I think it looks pretty cool – I’ll just have to decide if I want to keep the bangs or make them part of the ‘hawk, too.  But mine probably won’t look like this, too much.

Doesn't it look cool?

It seems pretty legit.

But I do realize that faux hawks will take ridiculously long times if I do it everyday, so I plan to do it when I feel like it, and then just muss up my hair and leave it down whenever I’m in a hurry.  Plus, I love short tiny ponytails with lots and lots of bobby pins. 

But yeah, I can’t wait!

Secret Mission #3940 - Getting the Hairstyle I Want Without Giving My Parents a Heart Attack and Making Them Worry Even More About My Chances of Marrying a Nice, Conventional Korean Christian Guy.

Yea, yeah, yea, yeah - July 6, 2009

SM Entertainment, although their reputation gets worse and worse as time goes by, can still boast of a few gems: DBSK (no bias; biggest fanclub in the world & I can vouch for their talent), BoA (she’s grown up to be a real entertainer, I think), and maybe a few members within Super Junior.

Plus, Zhang Li Yin (or Jang Ri In in Korean)

All natural beauty.

She’s a Chinese singer under SM’s label, but she’s been neglected by Papa Soo Man (most likely because of our nine favorite plastic mannequins).  Pictures have been shown of Li Yin wearing hand-me-down clothes from SNSD, and her album has been pushed back for another two months while SNSD is currently promoting (and miserably failing – 2PM & Shinee have both beat them) their newest single. 

Honestly?  I wouldn’t really care except for the fact that I love Li Yin’s voice and I find her to be really talented while nine b!tches prance around in short skirts and claim to be “innocent”.  Not to mention, there have been some “stories” about how Taeyeon (SNSD’s leader) and Jessica (SNSD’s very own ‘Ice Princess’) bullied Li Yin during the training days.  I wouldn’t put it past them.

This video is one of Xiah Junsu (DBSK) and Zhang Li Yin’s duet.  I love this song.

Honestly, Lee Soo Man, get your stupid precious Sluts Generation out of the KPOP scene.   And put in some REAL talent.

PS – Joke of the Day: SNSD once called SES “artificial”.  HAHAHA.

In the daylight, anywhere feels like home - July 2, 2009

Honestly, I think pride is the biggest and most difficult thing humans have to deal with, because it’s part of our systems – getting rid of it completely means to shed off everything we’ve ever been taught.  But pride also blinds us from seeing a lot of obvious things; for example, I am not a fan of abortion.  In fact, I believe that unless the pregnancy will kill the mother, abortion should not be performed.  (However, I do realize that many lives of children who are unwanted transform into tragedies later in life, whether it’s a life of crime or a sad, sad existence.)  But my main … opposition against this sort of procedure, is this: When did we, as humans, earn the right to stop an embryo from becoming one of us?  We can’t even cure a common cold.  We don’t even have the concept of what makes something “human” perfectly lined out, yet we plunge on ahead, doing whatever we want because we want that choice.

Do we deserve a choice?

My belief in God is strong because I know that my life is in his hands – literally.  Every suicidal moment I’ve ever gone through has been won because of my belief in Him, whether it’s fear I’ll go to Hell or the realization that my life is still worth something because He loves me no matter what.  When I meet someone, I believe that He wants me to know them for a reason.  When I’m dying of thirst because it’s 100 degrees out and I’m hiking to lose weight, I believe that He’s teaching me how to achieve something I dearly desire through pain.  (He could’ve formed me with fast metabolism, but what kind of food would I put in my mouth then?)   I have nothing to be proud of.  Every struggle I’ve been through is by His Grace and when I come out the other end, scarred but still sane, I know He’s pushing my limits so I won’t be so weak.

I really hate mankind sometimes.  I hate how we consume everything and leave nothing behind.  I hate how we cause our own problems and then think we’re extremely advanced for solving those problems.  To tell you the truth, I don’t think we’ll ever find the cure for AIDs, or cancer.  Because if God let us, then we’d be arrogant beyond all measure. 

Don’t hate God for natural disasters, or murder sprees.  Because you never even loved Him when you had it good, anyway.  And honestly?  Be glad He sends those reminders that you’re human – a frail, fragile, malleable human.  That you’re a sack of shit even though you think you’re solid gold.

Sequenz: No. 6 (Lacrimosa) June 20, 2009

Sometimes, I really fucking hate my life.  

Honest to God.  There are so many things about myself I need to fix.

Lolli-lolli-lollipop - April 30, 2009

Tonight, I was blessed enough to go to a concert, featuring Death Cab for Cutie, Ra Ra Riot, and Cold War Kids.  Amazing.  Amazing.  I think tonight was the night I was most grateful for my sight and hearing; I was blown away by the lights and the soothing vibration of the rhythm, while Benjamin Gibbard sang with amazing energy and skill. I was entranced.  People around me were bobbing their heads and moving to the pace of the tune, but I was just sitting there, like I was dead.  The people around me probably thought I wasn’t a huge fan, BUT I AM.

The lyrics from DCFC’s songs are sweet and clear, and to the point, and sometimes, when you hear it, you wonder how anyone can make such a simple sentence mean so much.  For example, when they ended with Transatlanticism, he crooned, “I need you so much closer” repeatedly into the microphone, and my heart kind of tweaked.  Maybe I’m just a stupid romantic.  Maybe I’m too sentimental.  I thought about Nate.  And how ashamed I should be for falling for him so quickly at one point in my life.

I love them.  After they left the stage, the entire audience just stood and cheered and clapped for five minutes straight, and they graciously came back out to indulge us with three more songs.  I love them.  I love them.  I love them.

Okay, so the list of bands I’ve seen are: Metallica, The Offspring, The Raconteurs, Rise Against, Bad Religion, Pennywise, Scars on Broadway, Seether, Flogging Molly, Atreyu, Flobots, MGMT, The Bravery (ALL from WEENIE ROAST which I happily missed prom for).  Tonight, I proudly and most lovingly add Death Cab for Cutie, Ra Ra Riot, and Cold War Kids to the list.

There are still so many other bands I want to see! And I am impatient.

This is why I want my future boyfriend(s) to have the same taste in music as I do; I would love to go to a concert and hold his hand, and experience the amazing event together.

And you know what else I thought of while I was in bliss?  Tonight was the first time the Asian population of UCSD didn’t dominate the crowds – apparently, UCSD Asians aren’t huge fans of Death Cab for Cutie.  Aw, pity.

You’re Too Late, Satan - April 28, 2009

To take a leaf out of this brilliant girl’s book -

This is one of the nicest things anyone's ever said to me.